You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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