our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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