is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
