I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
