Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
