Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
