My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
