That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
