So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize