It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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