I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
