I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
