i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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