I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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