I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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