moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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