it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
