If that was your dad, he is hot
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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