So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
