so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
