I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
