Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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