Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
