Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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