Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
