What did we do last night that was yellow?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
