maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize