That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
