well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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