dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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