My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
