I need help removing her.
Your dad touched me again.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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