Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
My pussy is not your playground.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
