he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
