We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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