and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
