Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
