I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
