I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
