told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My vagina is officially offended.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
