He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
