people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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