Jerry, you need to find god
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize