do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
