You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
