you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
