you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
