she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
