with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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