yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize