I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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