The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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