I seem to have left my pride at pride
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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