she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Sacagawea was the original milf.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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