Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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