My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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