nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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