Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
