Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She even gives head with a lisp.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
