Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
