I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
