i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
