do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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