Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
