he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
