If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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