just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
