You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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