I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize