Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
